The Official Academy of Proper Manners

Summer had been a glorious time, but it couldn’t last forever. Mayor Cuddlebear was quick to take notice and contact Mason Tuxedo Cat. He had a new plan for the countryside children's curriculum this year: social etiquette. Mason, hired once again, was to take a few diagnostic tests and give some lessons.

He straightened his emerald green tie, and asked his wife Natalie to spread the word of the upcoming diagnostics next week.

So, Natalie joined the other mothers at their afternoon tea time on Heidi's porch.

“My husband asked me to tell you that the school season will start with some new curriculum this year: social etiquette. He said that there will be a mayor issued test next Monday, and that there would be a variety of scenarios.”

“What sort?” Teri piped up, clearly interested in how her daughters would fare.

“Well, the babies are exempt, and there are different roles the older children have to play. Such as plating a tea table or grabbing macaroons or a no spilling test.”

“Oh,” Heidi murmured.

“And, Heidi, I hope you won’t mind if we asked to use your Tea and Treats set. It is just perfect!” Natalie respectfully requested.

“Of course.” Heidi responded with the full warmth of her country spirits.

So, the children were informed. Lily and Rose, almost raised to ace the test, didn’t fret at all.

Lily summed it up perfectly: “If we were to ever excel in one subject, it’s this one.”

Teri was also sure Freya would do well. They always set the table formally and ate with polite manners.

The other children were less so sure. As far as they had known, there was no need for unspoken dinner rules. If you felt like having more salt in your food, go ahead; the salt shaker was right there. So Heidi fretted by telling them all she knew of proper manners. “Always have manners, ask nicely for all food on the table, protect your clothes from any stains…,” she went on.

The testing day came. All the critters gathered, including the parents. The babies came along to play in the nursery, not knowing the ordeal the older children were to go through. “Freya, I know you’ll do well. My piece of advice would be to think about what Breeze would do. She’s a model student in this subject.”

“Geez, thanks, Mom.”

Mason had already prepared various scenarios and bought a set of macaroons and chocolate in town (reimbursed by the mayor).

“Alright, Karen and Bellia, please step outside and plate the table with the set laid out in the coffee table,” he said without emotion.

Karen and Bellia could almost feel their paws shaking as they carried each plate, cup, and the china teapot already full of tea outside. They set the table everyday for regular meals, but the test seemed to get on their nerves. Outside, a two tiered plate with the sweets was already centered on the table. Then, Karen started by placing the teapot close to the middle. She placed the golden server right next to it. Bellia started with what she knew. Cups and plates were to be in pairs on opposite sides of the table. Yet, there were four plates in this set for two. “What is this?” she asked when she realized there were two plates left. “Like this,” Karen demonstrated that the plates were to go under the teacup. They examined their work and it seemed right enough. They finished and left indoors, not knowing how they did. Mason inspected their work and marked points off for how they had messed up the saucer as the tea plate itself.

“Tis, tis,” he muttered.

Next, Skip and David were up. They were to participate in a formal conversation while enjoying the seated shade of the patio. David couldn’t help but straighten his tie for good luck. Skip copied him with his buttons. They stepped outside in a confident posture, and sat down.

“So, how’s it going, David?” Skip started.

David almost jerked at Mason, standing in observance; Skip caught his casual habit and changed his language.

“Good day, David.”

“Good day, Skip.”

“Great weather we have today.”

“Yes, and I’m full of excitement for the autumn season to come.”

“The leaves will be beautiful.”

On and on they went with this sort of mingling talk.

The conversation was perfect for the setting. Polite, not personal, and grammatically correct. Besides a deduction for Skip’s early slip up, the boys did rather well.

Next up, Mason called Bell and Freya for what was to be the funnest assignment - simply eating daintily. Freya nibbled at her macaroon, while Bell made sure to sip her tea without any slurping or gulping. Mason wrote the two down as passing with full marks.

Last but not least, came the shining favorites of the test: Lily and Rose. They did receive a rather harder task, though. To pour down the leftover tea at maximum heights without spillage. They did it perfectly from all the practice they had gotten. Whether it was the plainest of water or a cold carton of milk, Natalie made it a point to make sure her children didn’t spill. After all the years, Lily and Rose could both confidently pour from a full container one handed and at head level height.

Mason stepped inside with the kids clambering around him for their performance score.

“How did I do?” Bell asked.

David followed with, “What grade did I get?”

“Calm down, everyone. No one needs to go to town for extra schooling. You all passed.”

“Did my daughter do the best?” Teri asked with much anticipation.

“Well, she did, as did most of the children. Karen and Bellia, not to call you out, but you should work on setting the table. A saucer is not a plate.” Mason spoke. “I’ll be having a few lessons about this sort of stuff soon. It will involve all of you at once. I just need to find a place… I don’t think we can keep borrowing Mrs. H. Choch’s house for good.”

But still, it was good news and Bellia answered, “Whoopie! I still passed!” Everyone’s eyes seemed to shoot at her with nervousness. She caught it and corrected, “That is splendid news,” in much lower volume. Bell nodded in Bellia’s direction as if to give her a sense of approval for this change.

Mason chuckled and announced, “Well, the next diagnostic will be on a topic most of you are probably more happy about: countryside culture. The mayor has decided that there should be more cultural education in addition to standard academics.”

The country children cheered and stepped into a clumsy dance; they would all ace that one.